Tomorrow we’re off to T’s 6 month adjusted developmental clinic at the NICU where she was born. I’m not sure what to expect other than the obvious- that her development will be evaluated. I’m a bit anxious/nervous to hear what the experts think. No Mom wants to hear there’s anything “wrong” with their child but at the same time, if there’s an issue, we also want the assistance to make any issues better. It’s kind of a double-edge sword.
I’m personally really curious to see how T’s prematurity has affected her development. It’s pretty obvious I still carry a lot of guilt over T’s premature birth. I’m naturally worried about how prematurity will impact her growth, development and overall life. With a preemie, you don’t always know the immediate affects of prematurity on an infant. Who knows what she is going to be like one year from now, two years later and so forth. So, I carry-on each day knowing she’s a bit behind in this and that but eventually, hopefully, she’ll catch up. It pains me knowing she has to catch up and that she has to work that much harder for things, but it is what it is. I know she and I will be a bit stronger for it in the long run.
Well, wish us luck tomorrow and here’s hoping I don’t lose my shite returning to the NICU, again.