It Feels Like Home

A Boston girl goes Hollywood then chucks it away for a life in OZ… these are my adventures and general musings.

Two Months February 26, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 7:07 pm
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The Tegan girl is two month old, already. I can’t believe how quickly the time is passing. Maybe it’s because the first month and a half was spent in the NICU and that all seemed like such a blur, or rather it’s because kids do grow up so fast!

Our early bird is getting so big although, when I take her to her doctor’s appointments, everyone comments that she’s the tiniest baby they’ve ever seen for her age. To us, we think she looks huge so it’s kind of funny when people think she’s a little peanut.

Every day we can see more and more personality shinning through in our little girl. When she’s hungry, SHE’S HUNGRY. She can be perfectly happy one minute and then without warning, she’s wailing at the top of her lungs to eat. She makes the funniest lion roar face over and over again until she’s happily eating. When she wants attention, she just lets out a little cry or bats those long lashes of her’s and we’re putty in her hand. Her funny little squeaks and coo’s, smiles and pouts keep us laughing all day long.

We can see her curiousity increasing as she’s more alert and constantly looking around. She loves to play, kick up her feet and stare at her black and white books. She’s also taken a liking to yanking my hair which has resulted in this momma chopping her locks (it was just too long). She has such a firm, strong grasp and she loves grabbing anything she can- her rattle, my hair, my shirt. She’s a strong little one. And, I’m sure it’s just me being a proud mom but I swear the other night, she was reaching her arms toward me to pick her up.

Since baby girl is a preemie, we’re on a bit of a lock down upon the advice of the NICU’s neonatologists. It’s RSV/flu season so it’s not wise to take Tegan out in public or for her to be around large groups of people. In some regards it’s kind of a bummer because we can’t introduce our girl to friends and family and we’re confined to the house. However, we do manage to go for walks in the stroller each day and she’s even dipped her toes in Grammie’s pool. (Got to love February’s 80 degree weather in the desert) We spend most of our day sleeping, eating, reading books, enjoying kangaroo care and trying our luck at tummy time. Of course, we have taken her to doctor’s appointments so she has been briefly exposed to the public but we shield her from curious, well-intentioned people who want to touch her.

Here are Tegan’s 2 month highlights:

Tegan is…

  • 3 days old, adjusted age
  • 6 pounds 3 ounces
  • 17 1/4 inches long, head circumference is 13 inches
  • Still on her monitor
  • Working on breastfeeding every day 

Tegan has…

  • Finally been held by both of her aunties
  • Gone to the pediatrician twice
  • Had her 2 month shots and took them like a champ



  • Burping
  • Sleeping on her back
  • Tummy time
  • Getting dressed
  • Diaper changes

February 23rd February 23, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 3:28 pm
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Today was Tegan’s estimated delivery date. Instead of having a newborn, I have a 2 month old. I know in all likelihood she probably would not have been born today but still, it does sting a bit to know that she should have been born around this time. In some ways, today is a bit sad for me- it’s like I failed in the pregnancy/mom department. The one thing I was suppose to do was to carry her to term and I failed! But, when I’m feeling down, I just have to look at my sweet little girl and everything is okay.

In many ways, I feel I was robbed of a full pregnancy. I didn’t get to experience my belly growing to its fullest or all the kicks and punches that Tegan could dish out. And yes, I even miss suffering through the back aches and swelling that ail most pregnant women. We didn’t get to have our nine additional weeks of preparing for our loved one. We never got to take our natural childbirth, breastfeeding or Infant CPR & first aid classes. We never got to get our little one’s nursery together or pack our hospital bag. We never got to experience the excitement of those final few weeks or wonder how labor was going to happen. We never… it could go on and on. Instead of being a native of Boston, Tegan is a native of Palm Springs- the place where people go to retire and wind down their lives, not start them! With more time, we could have settled on a different name for our sweet baby girl. Who knows, our Tegan could have been a Sloane, Maeve, Delia or Elyn. Instead, we had to make a split second decision and Tegan Rose it was- we hope you like it, girly!

It’s weird to think that at this moment, Tegan should be growing inside of me. Right now she is double her birth weight and it just amazes me that something her current size- or even bigger- should be in my belly. Sometimes when I hold Tegan and her little feet squirm around on my belly, it feels like she’s kicking from inside of me. It’s weird, I know. As if I didn’t have enough guilt to deal with, my mind goes and plays tricks on me! At times, I feel just terrible that our early bird didn’t get to reap the advantages of maturing to full term and therefore had such a rough go at life from the start. I’m sorry little one. I only hope that having gone through what you’ve experienced makes you stronger.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always a Debbie Downer and I feel especially happy to have been blessed with a feisty, sweet, beautiful little girl. She’s so very special because she was so brave and so strong to come into the world so early. I read somewhere, that every baby comes through his/ her own door and this was Tegan’s grand entrance…a Christmas miracle. 

In the end, we had a happy ending and considering everything we went through, I am so very thankful for a relatively healthy and happy baby girl. I know she will continue to grow big and strong and thrive. Every day she amazes us with everything she can do. She shouldn’t have been born yet and here she is eating like a champ, gaining weight, pushing herself up on her tummy, grabbing my hair, smiling (yes, probably due to gas), turning her head towards our direction when she hears our voices, and so forth. She’s brilliant and just so lovely. 

I know, at least for a while, when February 23rd rolls around each year, I’ll think of what should have been. So while today is a bit sad for me, there’s also a very bright side to it. After all, I’ve had an extra two months to love and nurture her. We get to cuddle and give kisses all day long and sometimes, there’s nothing better than that. Our hearts are filled with so much love for her and we are so proud to be the parents of our little fighter. Every day is special because of you. We love you, Tegan Rose!


My Funny Valentine February 14, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 10:00 pm
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Happy Valentine’s Day!


She’s Out of There! February 12, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 6:08 pm
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Super girl is finally out of the NICU and home with her Mom and Dad. Yay!

Upon discharge, Tegan weighed in at a whopping five pounds even and if she was still cooking, she would be 38 weeks now. We still have a long road ahead of us but I’ll catch up later. For now, it’s time for some family bonding.

Thank you to all for the continued well wishes and support. It really means a lot to us that people all over the country and the world are thinking of our little girl. We sincerely thank you. xx