In what seems to be like the never ending story lately, my days have been spent painting the house with Mom. At first I thought I was a terrible painter but now I think I’m just cursed. Let me start at the beginning.
On September 1st, Mom and I began painting the house. You see, we’re going to put it on the market so we’ve decided to spruce it up a bit… apply some fresh paint, plant some new flowers, de-clutter, re-organize, etc. So, we’ve started with the painting. Well, we are now six weeks in to painting and let me tell you, we’re nowhere near done. When I signed on to paint the house, I thought to myself, “sure, painting will be easy. We’ll have this place done in no time.” Mind you, I have never painted before but figured it can’t be that hard. All I have to say now is that I have completely underestimated the difficulty of painting.
My troubles with painting begin with my petite stature. Since I am a mere 5′ 2”, I can’t even reach the top of the walls with a long painting poll standing on a ladder. And since I am short, it makes it difficult to even apply enough pressure to the poll brush to get an even coat of paint on the walls, especially up high. Right off the bat, I’m at a disadvantage. I can’t give the walls an even coat and therefore I end up having to apply two coats of paint which means double the amount of work and time, and, twice the amount of paint and money.
Add my petiteness to my clumsiness and it’s just a very bad combination. I have fallen from the ladder, sliced my fingers with a razor, spilled paint on the carpets, splashed paint on the light fixtures and hardware and so forth. Really, it doesn’t stop. I’m not looking forward to the clean up.
Then, we painted all of the bathrooms and doors only to find out we used the wrong type of paint. We used a flat paint but for any type of surface that could collect moisture, you’re suppose to use a semi-gloss. Wish we knew this before we started! So, we’ve had to re-do all of the bathrooms and doors.
Just the other day, we were painting Mom’s bedroom and it was a total disaster. Mom fell off of the ladder and hurt herself. While painting, soda cans were spilled when the painting poll knocked them over. Now we have soda stained carpets to go along with the paint spills. Needless to say, we’ll be getting the carpets cleaned. Then, we were moving the bed to get at the wall behind it. Well, we picked up the mattress and it feel forward smashing in to the mirror dresser. It snapped in the dresser in half, the mirror went crashing to the ground and the bureau pushed in to the wall leaving a gaping hole. I quickly dubbed myself a plaster expert, ran to Home Depot and picked up some spackle. I’ve had to patch the hole three times now due to my mad skills. (sarcasm) The spackle alone isn’t going to work so now I’ve purchased a “patch” that will have to go over the plastered hole in order to match the texture of the walls. This area of the wall will, of course, have to be re-painted. Seriously, what a pain!
On Wednesday we moved on to “my bedroom.” I started painted the room by myself and did the doors, the frame work first. Mom comes in the room in the afternoon and says, “where are you at, I’ll start painting the walls.” I tell her I still have to paint the bottom trim before you can start. She comes back with, “well, what have you done? You’ve been in here the whole time and that’s all you’ve done? You should have started with that first and done the doors and frames last.” NOT the words I want or need to hear when I’ve been working my arse off all morning, thank you very much. Needless to say I was rather biatchy afterwards but in my defense, deservedly so! (Sorry, Mom) Anyway, we finally get to painting the walls, I’m standing on my bed with my painting poll and I’m finally able to reach the top of the walls. Things are going well when all of a sudden I hear, CRACK from under my feet. Yep, my bed frame cracked. Ok, I get it, time to the hit the gym, again. I know!
Since we’ve been painting for so long and I’m buying paint at least twice a week, I’ve become a VIP at the paint store. In fact, I’ve been given the nickname of Hollywood or ‘H-W’ for short by the employees because I’m in there so often. I’m guessing they chose ‘Hollywood’ b/c of my first name. I got that all throughout high school…. geesh! At least my VIP status is working to our benefit. I’m now given a 50% discount because we’ve been buying so much feakin’ paint. Go me! For the discount I’ll let them nickname me whatever they want.
So, here we are well in to October and the painting is not done. In fact, we have the dinning room, the laundry room, the closets, the kitchen, the pantry, the casita and the garage left to complete. I’m sure we’ll have many more mishaps to come. I about to give up except that I just want to finish what we’ve started. I think painting has ruined any sort of grandiose dreams I have for future home renovations of my own…. maybe that will change with time. Better yet, I’ll just hire someone!