Anyone who knows me, knows that hiking is definitely NOT my favorite thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love being out in nature, breathing that fresh, mountain air; however, hiking just kills me. I mean, I like outdoor activities such as kayaking, biking, white water rafting, camping, etc. I can even do the short, simple hikes, but the kind of hiking I’m talking about is the all-day, strenuous type of hike that makes you paralyzed for days afterwards because your body is so sore from the unforgiving trail. I hate it so much that I throw a hissy fit every time we go. I end up turning in to a raving biatch that often ends up in some sort of melt down during the hike resulting in Paul being pissy and livid that his wife doesn’t like to hike. I know, sounds like fun, right? Well, I’ve examined why I have such a disdain for hiking and I’ve come up with the following four reasons:
1. I’m clumsy and therefore I’m constantly looking down at EVERY step I take instead of looking around and enjoying my natural surroundings. I have *almost* died several times (being dramatic) while hiking and I even fell in to a river (yes, it happened). Another time, we were hiking to the top of a waterfall and I got attacked by leeches that had to be burned off. As you can see, I have rather unfortunate luck when it comes to the great outdoors. I just can’t look up. If I do, I’ll *almost* die;
2. I hate the feeling of having to lean forward or backward. Every time we hike, it’s always in an upward and downward progression. I’m constantly leaning forward for the first part of the hike- I think due to my petite size- and therefore, end up as “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Going down, I’m leaning back so I don’t feel like I’m falling forward. It’s as if my upper body gets ahead of my feet and then gravity takes over pulling me downward faster than my feet can walk… it’s a recipe for a disastrous tumble. I guess I just don’t have a good sense of gravity and it drives me batty. I need to be on level ground… in fact, I crave it.
3. I just want to get it over with and get to the top and back down as quickly as possible. I am generally not a patient person by nature (I admit it, it’s a fault of mine) and I often need instant gratification or a payoff of sorts, especially when it comes to hiking. I hate it when you hike for five hours to see some fantastic waterfall and when you finally arrive it’s a little trickle. Nothing irks me more! In general, hiking is not something I enjoy so why waste all day scaling a mountain (this is what I tell myself). This mentality results in me trying to be super woman and running my short legs as fast as they’ll take me. Not only does the upward motion kill me, but I add fuel to the fire by trying to speed things along and my body hates me for it. I know, I should change my outlook and be positive about hiking, but really, every time I try to it’s always the same pitiful result. Why prolong the agony?
4. Lastly, since I already have a rotten attitude about hiking, usually once we start I am just seething with anger and frustration. If anything goes wrong, I immediately blame it all on Paul even if it was my own doing because after all, it was his idea to go hiking. I also get pretty irritable resulting in my moaning and cursing under my breathe. This ticks off Paul to no end and of course he has to make a comment about me always complaining and why I just can’t enjoy it. His remarks send me in to a hissy fit and make me even more peeved.
So, being married to someone who likes to hike, often leads to a battle of wills. Paul states his case for why we should hike and I have every excuse in the book to counter his arguments. Well, this past weekend I lost the battle and we hiked up Mt San Jacinto. There are several different trails, but the one we did was over SEVEN miles straight up a mountain with a climb in elevation of over 6,000 feet from start to finish. To even begin the hike, you have to take an aerial tram cable car partially up the mountain. Once you reach the top of the tram ride, then you begin your ascent up the mountain. This hike is one of Paul’s favorites. In fact, he wants to get a season pass to the park… I nearly fainted from the thought. Luckily, he took mercy on me and we didn’t get the pass, and we only hiked seven out of the possible 11 miles. Sister even joined us on the hike- her first time up the mountain- but she’s not a hiking hater like myself so she and Paul were in their glory.
Well, since I’m writing this entry, you can tell that I survived the seven mile ordeal. I’m not about to go running up the mountain anytime soon, despite what Paul thinks. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve done my fair share and that should hold me over for another few months. Then, it will be winter and too cold to go hiking up the mountain. See, I have a master plan, (evil laugh) bwah, ha, ha! The hike was painful and I *almost* got attacked by a black bear but I did it. I survived.
I realize I probably sound like a whiny biatch and I should just suck it up and get over my issues. But like they say, it’s easier said than done. Maybe some day my outlook on hiking will change but until then, I’ll keep on trecking… begrudgingly.