It Feels Like Home

A Boston girl goes Hollywood then chucks it away for a life in OZ… these are my adventures and general musings.

I Spoke Too Soon January 30, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 5:20 pm
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Just when we thought everything was going well with our baby girl, we’ve had a set back. Call me superstitious but I think I kind of jinxed us by talking about all her accomplishments in my last post. I guess things were going too well…

It appears Tegan has some kind of mystery illness that the doctors are trying to figure out. She’s had an abnormal increase in desats (decrease in oxygen levels) & brady’s (decrease in heart rate) that have led the doctors to think there is something wrong. They ran an MRI, EEG and took a lung X-Ray… all came back okay. They did some lab work, too, and that came back fine. Then, they repeated the lab work at a later time and this round, the results came back showing elevated levels. More tests are needed to figure out exactly what ails Baby.

Unfortunately, the past few days have been stressful, frustrating and quite upsetting for us. We’re hoping we’ll have some answers tomorrow and that the doctors will figure out what’s going on with our baby girl. It kills us to see her in so much distress and her little body working so hard. She’s most definitely not herself and we miss seeing our spunky little firecracker. Think positive thoughts for our baby girl!

 

One Month January 26, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 11:11 pm
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Happy One Month Birthday, Tegan!

I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. Parenthood has been such an amazing journey so far, albeit a bit different than we anticipated. Our time with our early bird has been filled with smiles, laughs and joy. At the same time, the month has also been met with tears, frustration and worry. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions that I can’t even begin to explain right now but I’ll probably make an attempt at a later time. We never imagined our daughter would come bursting into the world early but we are so proud of how hard she works every day to become bigger, stronger and healthier. We are honored to be her parents and words cannot explain our love and admiration for our brave little girl.

In honor of Tegan’s one month birthday, let’s celebrate her accomplishments so far.

Tegan is…

  • Now 4.5 pounds!
  • Done with phototherapy.
  • Regulating her body temperature on her own.
  • In a NICU “crib”- no more isolete.
  • Breathing on her own- no more respirator, C-PAP or nasal cannula.
  • Nippling (NICU term for bottle feeding) and is a good eater.
  • Free of her feeding tube.
  • Learning how to breastfeed.
  • Able to wear clothes.

 

Tegan has…

  • Been bathed once by us.
  • Had her diaper changed by us.
  • Had her temperature taken by us.
  • Enjoyed kangaroo care several times.
  • Enjoyed being held by her parents & grandparents.
  • Passed her hearing test.
  • Passed her eye test.
  • Received her Synagis & Hep B shots.

 

Likes:

  • Being read to
  • Being sung to
  • Being held
  • Being swaddled
  • Being free from all wires, tubes, clothes & blankets
  • Sleeping
  • Eating

 

Dislikes:

  • Being burped
  • Being poked, pricked and proded
  • When Mum & Dad have to leave her each time.

 

In other baby related news, Tegan had an EKG this afternoon. Lately, she’s been having episodes of desaturations (a sudden drop in breathing) and Bradys (a sudden drop in heart rate) so they’re running the EKG to make sure everything is okay. It could just be a “preemie thing” in that her body still has to work really hard to coordinate everything. I think the doctors are just being cautious in running the test and want to rule out any cardiac issues. Fingers crossed we get good news.

 

4 Weeks January 23, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 11:48 am
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Four weeks ago today, our sweet baby girl made her early entrance in to the world. I can’t even believe it’s been four weeks- everything seems like such a blur. What’s even more crazy to me is that my little girl should still be growing inside of me. This week would have marked her 35th week of gestation.

This was the first time I saw her in the NICU:


When I see this photo it makes me quite sad. It kills me to see her hooked up to all those monitors, tubes and lines- to see my baby girl fighting to breathe and grow. But on the other hand, it’s because of those monitors, tubes and lines that my girl is able to survive and thrive. I really can’t describe the emotions but I would have given anything to have carried her to full term.

 

She’s Got Personality January 21, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 4:53 pm
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Happy Baby

Sleepy Baby

Grumpy Baby

Angry Baby

Exercising Baby

Cheering Baby

Laughing Baby

Cheeky Baby

Thinking Baby

 

The Day Our Baby Girl Was Born January 13, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 6:44 pm
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So here’s how it all went down… Keep in mind, we live in Boston but we were visiting family for the holidays in California. I had been to my Boston OB at 24 weeks and twice at 26 weeks. At these appointments, everything was fine and I was given the okay to fly. We left Boston for California when I was 26 weeks and 4 days. I had also set up an appointment with my California OB for the week before Christmas for a wellness check up. At this appointment, everything was still fine with Baby and myself.

Flash forward to the day after Christmas at my parent’s house…

I woke up around 4:30am with a terrible pain and pressure in my sternum area that radiated over to my right shoulder. It was extremely painful but I figured I should just try to sleep. Just in case it was the worst heartburn of my life, I popped a few Rolaids to see if that would relieve the discomfort. I dozed off and on through the pain but at 6am, I woke up again with the same existing pain. I decided to get up and walk around the house to see if that made a difference. I was starting to worry a bit so I decided to take my blood pressure. The reading was high so I decided I should just rest for a while and see if it goes down. I returned to bed and woke up the Husband to tell him what was going on. He was concerned but I convinced him that I just needed to rest for a bit so we went back to sleep.

Around 8:00am, I woke up again and headed out to the family room with the same horrible pain. At this point, I was more concerned because despite the rest, the pain wasn’t going away. Mom, Sister and Husband woke up and I took my blood pressure again… it was still high. Everyone was concerned and it was decided I should go to the ER to get checked out… just in case.

I arrived at the ER and registered with the nurses. I described my symptoms to the first nurse and she suggested that it could be a gallbladder problem. She sends me on to another nurse who took my blood pressure and got a high reading. She decided with the pain I’m having and the high blood pressure that I must be having a heart attack. At this point, I was rushed into a resuscitation room and was given a chest X-ray and an EKG. Everything came back fine- I was not having a heart attack. Next, they thought I had a blood clot. I was whisked away for ultrasounds of my legs… no blood clots founds. Then, they thought I had a blood clot in my lungs and needed to do a nuclear radiation scan of my lungs. I wasn’t so keen to hear this as there is obviously a risk to the baby but it was decided that it had to be done for my safety and the baby’s. The results came back and I didn’t have a lung blood clot. Great, all that unnecessary testing for nothing!

At this time, my blood pressure was still high and the chest pain was excruciating. The ER doctor returned and diagnosed me with Pleurisy (inflammation of the lungs) as a result of the baby probably pressing on my lungs. There was no attention paid to the fact that I was pregnant and had high blood pressure. I asked the doc about the blood pressure issue and he said he’ll give me a little medicine to bring it down, but on Monday make an appointment with an OB. This didn’t sit well with me and I told him high blood pressure in pregnancy is usually an indication that something is wrong. I’m not a doctor but that’s kind of common sense! He says he doesn’t know what’s causing the high blood pressure but everything will be fine and just be sure to see an OB.

Fortunately, my father-in-law is a neonatologist and he called the ER doctor. He tells him to run a bunch of tests and so the ER doc does. The tests come back showing concerning results and it’s decided I should be transferred to another hospital that has an OB unit. Apparently, the hospital I was at doesn’t do OB! Instead of being transferred in an ambulance, I had to drive myself (well, Mom & Husband drove me). Little did we know, at this point, I was close to having a seizure… and yes, they wanted me to drive myself!

We arrive at the next hospital and went straight to Labor & Delivery Triage. The ER doctor at the previous hospital was suppose to call ahead to Triage and send over my medical records, but of course, that didn’t happen. Triage is clueless about what’s going on but they get me set up. Fetal monitors were placed on my belly and more tests were performed. The results came back showing alarming signs that some of my organs were being damaged and were in the process of shutting down and my platelet count was dangerously low. Shortly after the tests came back, I started having contractions five minutes apart. I didn’t even realize I was having contractions until the nurse told me- I guess I was expecting worse pain.

I was admitted to the hospital and the process of anti-labor began. I was given a steroid shot for the baby’s lungs just in case and more tests were run. My contractions were now running about 2 minutes apart which was alarming but I was still confident that everything would be fine. The nurses took my history and told me how they’ll give me medicine to stop labor. I’m informed that I’ll probably stay in the hospital for a few days to be monitored and then I’ll be given some medicine that will allow me to travel back to Boston. Great, everything will be fine… no problems. At this point, I still don’t have a diagnosis but things are looking up and sounds like they can fix whatever ails me.

After settling in, the nurse came in my room while talking on the phone with the OB on call. Everything seemed fine and then all of sudden she blurted out… “You want me to tell them what?! You want me to tell them that now?” She hung up the phone and then told me she had to prep me for delivery; the baby had to be delivered right away and the OB was on her way.  At this point it was 11pm and Husband and I are shocked. I still didn’t know what’s wrong with me and now I had to deliver my baby at 31 weeks?! Husband called my Mom and then his Dad. The OB arrived and she explained my liver was shutting down and it could rupture at any moment. I’m in danger of seizing and going in to a coma, as well as my platelet count being extremely low and a whole other host of issues. Husband and I were in shock. We had no idea how serious the situation was. We were not prepared for this and definitely not prepared to become parents in December- we still had a few more months and we hadn’t even decided on a name yet! I was wheeled off, prepped and given an epidural. It kicked in right away and I lost the feeling in my lower body. My arms were tied down and then panic set in. I couldn’t move my body at all and it was terrifying. After a few deep breaths, I composed myself and the doctors got down to business.

At 11:33pm on December 26, 2009, Tegan Rose was born via emergency C-Section weighing 3.3 pounds, 14.8 inches long. She was worked on by the nurses and the neonatologist and then brought over to me for a quick peek. She was then whisked away to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). The doctors finished working on me and I was rolled out to my room for recovery. Everything after this point was rather foggy. I barely remember seeing the doctors, signing forms for Tegan, seeing my husband or my Mom after the surgery. I was immediately put on some Magnesium drug to prevent seizures as my health was still in danger and would continue to be postpartum.

The next few days continued to be hazy and I was quite sick but I finally got to see my baby girl in the NICU. It was actually quite heartbreaking to see her with all the tubes and monitors but also so overwhelmingly joyous at the same time. It’s amazing that we created this tiny, beautiful little being. I can’t describe the feeling but it’s most certainly love at first sight. I just wanted to hold her and touch her but I couldn’t… that would come later.

In the end, my mystery illness was diagnosed as HELLP Syndrome, which can be fatal to the mother and baby. Looking back, I really didn’t have any early symptoms- no protein in my urine, no headaches, no high blood pressure or swelling, etc. I did have vomiting but I’ve had constant morning sickness my entire pregnancy so I don’t know if that was a symptom or not? Practically within 24 hours I went from being and feeling perfectly healthy to facing a life threatening pregnancy complication. I’m thankful my baby girl and I are alive and it’s thanks to my father-in-law and the wonderful doctors and nurses that delivered my baby and cared for me. At the time, I had no idea how seriously ill or life threatening the situation was but after reading up on it, I’m especially grateful for our happy ending.

Tegan Rose is doing well but the doctors are still saying it will be at least the end of February before she’ll be discharged. Overall, she’s doing well and we’re so pleased with our little fighter. She’s so feisty yet sweet-natured and amazing in every way. We’re anxious to have her healthy and home with us.

I’m feeling better and I’m continuing to have weekly check-ups and lab work done. My Ob is making sure my body is recuperating and there is no permanent damage to my organs.

So there you have it- the very long version of the birth of our baby girl. If you made it this far, congratulations…. it was a long story!

 

Tiny But Beautiful January 11, 2010

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 3:56 pm
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Introducing…

Tegan Rose

Born December 26, 2009 at 11:33pm via emergency C-Section.

3lbs 3oz, 15 inches long.


Tiny Tegan had to make an early entrance into the world at just 31 weeks gestation. She has to stay in the NICU for a while but she’s growing bigger and stronger each day. More pictures and details to come soon!


P.S. The pacifier is a special preemie pacifier and it still takes up a large part of her face!

 

Grow Baby, Grow! December 16, 2009

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 6:56 pm
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Without further delay, here are some of baby’s first close-ups…

6 weeks- our little seedling:
Ultrasound June 30 2009 001 blur

8 weeks- like a gummy bear:
Ultrasound July 14 2009 002 blur

12 weeks- Snug as a bug:
Scan2_blur

18 weeks- Wiggling around:
9-23-2009-3-Blur

19 weeks- Facial close up… aka Alien Baby:
001 Blur

 

House Hunting December 11, 2009

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 5:22 pm
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With our move to Boston in August, we began our search for a house to call our own. As first time home buyers we’ve been researching and reading a lot of information in preparation for probably the largest purchase of our lives. When we arrived in Boston, we got pre-approved right away and hit the ground running in the search for the perfect home. Our first task was to find what area of Boston we wanted to live. This task alone has proven to be quite difficult and time-consuming. Since Husband works from home and I’m not working at the moment, we can basically live anywhere. While some would think this may seem like the best scenario for purchasing a home, it actually makes it more difficult. At least with a commutable job, you would look in the general vicinity of your employment, however, we don’t have that concern so we’re left with finding the “perfect” community to settle down. We keep going back on forth on what we want, how far outside or close to the city we want to be. Obviously closer to Boston, the more expensive a home is and the less you get for your money. The farther out you go, the more suburban living you get but with a large piece of land and a bigger home. Being in/near the city lends itself to easily taking in a play, going to the museum, riding public transport or eating at some fantastic ethnic restaurants that you would never find in the burbs. In the country, we could have acres of land and even an updated antique farmhouse complete with its own barn and paddocks.

I think many home buyers in our shoes most likely would have found their house by now; but Husband and I are what people would probably call fussy (I like to think of it as having discerning taste) and indecisive. We find ourselves either wanting to be urbanites or country folk- not really the in between. We end up spending our time looking at both possibilities and unable to focus on just one preference. We struggle, somewhat, with also having to consider school districts as a factor in our decision on where to live. (I guess this is part of being an adult) Do we live in a town with excellent, free public schools or do we live in the city where we’ll have to shell out thousands of dollars a year for private education? And then there’s picking the “right” house- it has to be the right neighborhood with the right style. For city living, it needs to be preferably a brownstone with modern amenities and an open layout. For country living, we tend to like houses that have old charm with modern conveniences like an antique farmhouse or an old Victorian that been restored with modern amenities- a mix of old with the new. Right now, we’re not seeing these on the market and if we do see it, it’s literally gone within a day or two. We missed out once, early on in our search, on a lovely farmhouse and honestly, nothing we’ve seen since has compared. Then there’s the issue of, do we pay the same amount of money for a condo with the convenience of city living when we could have a 3-4 bedroom home with an acre of land but have more of the suburban lifestyle.

With the home buying process our desires for what we want in a community and a home is always being compared to what our lifestyle was like in Sydney. We had the entire package- a nice, modern flat in the city, right by three modes of public transport, water views, cute boutiques, shops and restaurants for our enjoyment and plenty of green space and parks. Sounds nice, right? In essence, we’re looking for something similar in Boston but it may be very possible that this is not going to happen and just doesn’t exist- unless we’re millionaires, which we’re not! I would hope we could find something comparable to what we had once in Sydney but who knows? Wishful thinking most likely. I think we need to throw in the towel and head back down under, ha!

So, we keep plugging on hoping to find something to call our own in the new year. Ideally we would have loved to have been homeowners before the baby arrives but that’s not going to happen at this rate. We’ll make due for now and keep at it. The home buying process has definitely been somewhat stressful and disappointing but I know our home is out there somewhere. When we find it, it will all be worth it so we’ll continue to be patient and keep on searching.

 

28 Weeks December 1, 2009

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 5:27 pm
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It’s that time again… another 4 weeks has come and gone.

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She is turning her head and practicing “looking” movements. She is very active, and movements can be felt inside and outside the abdomen throughout the day and night. She’s also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world. Her bone marrow has taken over red blood cell production. The convolutions, wrinkles or “gyri” on the surface of the brain appear as it continues rapid growth and contains more brain cells.

  • How far along?: 28 weeks.
  • Total weight gain: I’m fairly certain I’ve gained a few more pounds (with Thanksgiving and all) but haven’t been able to weigh myself since we’re away at the moment.
  • How big is baby?: The size of a Chinese cabbage.
  • Maternity clothes?: Exclusively in maternity pants, but I can still wear some pre-pregnancy tops and work out clothes.
  • Sleep?: It’s uncomfortable.
  • Best moment this week?: I passed my glucose test- No gestational diabetes! And, we’re spending 6 weeks in California.
  • Movement?: Well defined, hard kicks. Baby has been very active lately and Husband has felt some really strong movements, especially last night.
  • Food cravings?: None.
  • Labor Signs: No.
  • Belly Button: Innie but it’s getting rather shallow.
  • What I miss: Bending over without feeling like I’m squishing my innards to bits with my big belly.
  • What I’m looking forward to: Christmas and finishing our baby registry.
  • Weekly wisdom: Enjoy every moment… it goes by so fast. 
  • Milestone: I’m seven months today! Only 84 days to go!
 

Happy Thanksgiving November 26, 2009

Filed under: Life — Holly @ 3:01 pm
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May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!